Single and Dating, Well Maybe

Okay, this week I’ve been thinking about this notion of love and relationships. I thought the following just yesterday. I’ll take your “Friend Category Man,” you can keep your bad boys. Give me the man I can sit in a cafe with, curl up and read a good book together with. A man who I can meet in a bookstore and enjoy intellectual dialogue combined with talking ish over a nice dinner. A good man I can hike with, camp with, go skiing, or even to a Caribbean island and relax with. Someone who will be my greatest friend and lover, as I’ll absolutely be his.

As I contemplate the online dating world again, I think of how I’ll describe myself . Secretly I desire to just meet him out and about, in a natural environment. As I add more years to my life, I let go of the idea of being in a relationship. I definitely can’t stand this idea of dating. Never did like it.

Today as I was sitting in my favorite cafe, typing away while swaying to good Latin music, I see a man watching me. Or maybe the art behind me. I then hear a male voice say something about me being engrossed in writing. “What, are you writing, a book or something?” I look up and see him. Tall, glasses, that beautiful geeky look that I just adore. I feel nervous, ready to play “shy girl,” say something awkward, and put my face in the computer. Instead I look up, smile and engage with him. We talk as he waits for his mocha. We talk about the writer’s life, about Afro-futurism, Octavia Butler, and having the discipline to sit and write. We say a few things about family. I see no ring and wonder if he’s single.

He gets his drink, stands, and I say “What’s your name?” I repeat his name, and as he starts to ask mine I say, “Mine is Tara.” He sticks out his hand, and I nervously say, “My hands are sticky,” as I shake his hand. I’m sure he saw me nervously playing with my hair, still wet from styling it just about an hour before. He says, “Well maybe I’ll see you again here sometime, I come here often.” I wanted to say, how about you take my number and we see each other again. But the words didn’t come out my mouth.

I’m actually very private about my dating life, only mentioning brief moments of flirtation. I like to keep it that way.

Journey from shy to flirtation to actual dating is interesting. I said I was ready so we’ll see.

Thank you for reading!


Image from and, which doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

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